Sunday, August 27, 2006
Last Day...
Today is last day of my maternity leave. 8 weeks flies so fast. Yup, in Singapore I only entitled for 8 wks maternity leave. For a mother of singaporean citizen, they entitle 12 wks because the last 4 wks is paid by gov't. See..this is one of evidence that Singapore is very commercial country. They protect the company instead of their employee to attract foreign investment. O well...this is the strategy of a country without natural resources. We bought Arya new clothes yesterday which said daddy's precious and mummy's gem so he can remember his mummy (if he understood). Today is a very lazy day for us. After bathing Arya, we slept again and again...
This nap will be precious when I am going back to work.
I don't think I'm a bad mother when I feel that I'm excited back to work. I think I'll be a better mother who treasure time I spend with Arya.
There's a small quiz that I read in parenting magazine. 4 types of parenting: Slinger (always carry the baby), Contented little mummy (Discipline, set out a rigid daily routine), Neo-traditionalist (Give up their career) and Rubbish and proud of it (ordinary ppl not earth mothers type who ended up being parents). I know what my type is...=p
and again..I do worship a career woman who give up the job for their kids.
Leyeh Leyeh
As part of his morning ritual (If he's not fussy), Arya likes to sit in his rocking chair. We open the window so Arya can sunbath and get fresh air. Usually he can sit and coo happily for 20 minutes. He plays with toys (not really playing, he's still 52 days..remember!! However it seem that he already notice bright colour) or looks out the view (a bit of sea view). If he's tired with all that, he'll day dreaming about his day schedule, for example: pupi or not pupi, what time he will take a nap, etc.
Domestic Helper (Part Deux)
Our stage of life is changed again..from couple to parent and now an employer. Once our candidate maid failed english test for 6 times, we had to choose another candidate. Time is ticking that's why we chose a transfer maid instead of select new candidate. Transfer maid happened if the maid/previous employer is not satisfied with current situation.
She, 'Mbak Binti' quit because she had to take care 2 family in Punggol and Pasir Ris.
Ari and I interviewed her twice. She's 23 yrs old and a mother of 2 yrs boy. We finally decided to give a try since there is no better candidate. I picked her up on Friday. we're so relieved that we get a maid. I think we will be a good employer since we're not too fussy about stuff.
Today i had a little doubt. She's quite slow in doing her job and sometimes she's lying that she already done it eventhough we knew it's still dirty. I'm worried that she'll lie abt stuff when she takes care my baby. I asked my mom to stay longer to ensure that my baby will be OK!!
Will see what happened next....
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
within 42 days
Ari registered Arya's birth in Gleneagles hospital in his second day (once Ari and I finished debating about his name). We got his birth certificate right away. However the process was not finished. Arya need to have a certain status in Singapore within 42 days otherwise Ari will be put in jail plus additional $2000 fine. First of all, Arya need to have a passport. To get a passport, we need to report his birth in Indonesian embassy. You know what!! We need to bring 2 witnesses. Luckily my mom and my cousin were here. It took 3 working days to process, after that we apply for his passport. there was requirement to provide photos. Ari didn't read the instruction carefully. So we tried to take Arya's pics when he was awake. After lots of tears, we got decent pictures however it was rejected.
We need to go to a photo studio in Orchard to have it done. It took 5 working days to process Arya's passport.
Once we had his passport, we need to go to ICA (Immigration & Checkpoints Authority) in Kallang Rd to apply for permanent residence.
We had to bring Arya. ICA is always so crowded. We had to wait for almost 2 hours. The good thing in ICA, they provide nursing room in each floor. I nurse Arya twice while we're waiting. In nursing room, I met other mom&baby. Arya is bigger compare to his peer. Good milk!!!
After showing Arya to the officer, Ari brought Arya home and I was finishing the paperwork.
It took 3 working days to process his PR. Arya is a Singapore PR now and as consequences, he is liable to be called for national service when he's 18 yrs old.
Arya udah sunat loh...
Kecil kecil Arya udh sunat loh. Tepatnya pas Arya umur 25 hari. Ada 2 alasan kenapa Arya disunat pas masih bayi. Pertama, Papa Arya ngerasa kalau sunat tuh bukan pengalaman yg menyenangkan jadinya kalau pas masih bayi, Arya nggak bakalan inget. Kedua, kalau pas bayi, proses penyembuhannya bakalan lebih cepet. Jadilah Arya disunat hari Senin, tgl 31 July di Dr. Aziz (Kembangan). Lagi lagi atas rekomendasi Echie. Hari minggunya, kita beliin 2 baju baru dan kaus kaki buat the D-day. Habis itu diadakan juga pengajian di Panti Asuhan di Ambarawa yg juga mengadakan sunatan masal besoknya. Kita plus Imbah putri berangkat pagi2 ke kembangan naek taksi. Appointmentnya jam 10. Pertama2 Arya dikasih Panadol sirup biar agak2 drowsy. Sejam kemudian, dimulailah prosesnya. Arya nangis kenceng banget kaya pas waktu lahir…Mama Arya juga nangis deh… Siangnya Arya rewel berat…kayanya kesakitan deh. Ampe jam 4 sore baru berhenti deh. Tangan si Imbah putri ampe pegel2 garanya Arya minta digendong mulu. Mama Arya takut gendong..takut kena. Kita merayakannya dgn berdoa dan makan nasi kuning & blackforest. Besoknya Arya udh normal. Arya sembuh bener tepat seminggu kemudian. Kita merayakannya sambil membuat urap. Hore…Arya udh gede!!!
Bersama Imbah kakung ama putri
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Bath time
Everytime I visit my friend's blog who also a mommy, there is a must-show picture. Bath time of their baby...So here is ours.
No naked pics...hehehe...
'Dedek'
Until now, Arya's nick name is Dedek (Little boy). It happened because we always called our baby-to-be as 'Dedek bayi' (bayi is 'baby'). It seems that everybody already get used to the idea of calling Arya as 'Dedek'. Maybe it will change when Arya has a younger bro/sis.
Baby Shower
As requested by Miss K, a flash back of our baby shower.
We had Javanese baby shower in Jakarta when I was 7 months pregnant (April). In Javanese tradition, when a would-be mother is 7th month pregnant, carrying her first baby in her womb, a ritual ceremony called Mitoni is performed. (Mitoni is from the word pitu means seven). This traditional ceremony aims to request God’s blessings for the safety of the would be parents and the baby. Hopefully, the whole family shall live safely, happily and the child should bring a good life to the family.
The whole ceremony consist of several steps of ritual, such as:
Sungkeman: To husband and both Parents
Siraman: using a mix of 7 water springs and sritaman flowers, consist of rose, yasmin, magnolia and cananga. 7 Older people will bath mom-to-be as a symbol of blessing.
Dressing up: There are 6 kinds of batik pattern and one lurik cloth prepared for mom-to-be. Every pattern have good wishes for the family and the baby.
Eating Tumpeng (rice cone with vegetables and chicken) Husband will feed the wife as a symbol that husband bring 'food' to the family.
Selling rujak (mixed of slices of fruits with hot sambal) and dawet (sweet refreshment drink, the juice is mixed of coconut milk and sugar). Rujak is symbolizing enthusiastic life and dawet is depicting a smooth and safe birth of the baby.
Ndul Ndul Pacul Cul
...before...
...after...
Details of the crime:
- When: Saturday, 19 August
- Where: Junior Salon, Suntec City Mall
- How much: $15
Summary:
Dedek tambah ganteng!!!!
Domestic Helper
As working couple, we need to hire domestic helper to take care our baby during the day. We can hire fulltime or part-time maid or babysitter. Being brought up in Indonesia with a full time maid, we decided to hire Indonesian maid. The idea that our baby will be taken care of a stranger is quite devastating. I do worship a mother who gives up career for their little one however I thought that I’ll be a better mother if I do have a career outside the house.
Back to Maid problem, we contacted maid agency in Kembangan based on my friend experience. They hired a maid and had no problem so far. we went there 3 wks back and chose 1 from a stack of CVs. We chose Mbak Eka because she looks friendly and strong - Arya is quite big, we need a strong lady to carry him around. after interviewing her via phone, we decided to take her. She was still in Indonesia at that time. The maid agency will take care everything, we just need to pay $488 (experience maid) or $388 for agency fee.
If we hire a maid, we need to pay agency fee, insurance, monthly salary and monthly gov't levy. The $100 insurance is to pay the gov't penalty if the maid is pregnant or running away. The minimum amount of their monthly salary is around $260-$280. Philippinos gets higher salary because they are more educated. Monthly gov't levy for us - permanent residence - is $295. For first month, we need to pay around $1000 to get a maid.
$280 is quite high for Indonesian maid. For comparison, I got almost the same when I worked as a temp in PwC (5 yrs back) and salary for the maid is around $70-$100.
I got a call from the agency yesterday that my candidate failed the english test (6 times) so she can't work in Singapore...Urgh...Need to find a new candidate. My 2 mths maternity leave is ending soon.
Arya and his funny pose
Saturday, August 19, 2006
D&K
I have 2 little friend, D&K. It stand for daria&kanika... Because of them, I had such memorable traineeship in NY after Ari worked in OZ. Eventhough it's difficult for me to keep in touch with my fabulous single girlfriend, we still put some effort to updating each other news.
Surprise surprise I met kanika again early August. She stays the same. Still skinny and so Kanika..=p We had a not-that-long dinner in Sakae Sushi, Harbourfront Mall. She said that those was the first time to see the computerised restaurant. In Sakae, we placed the order using a computer attached in each table. They also had a hot water tab for Japanesse Green Tea in each table. Hehehe...and Kanika came from US!!! It's so good to see you K.
My other friend, Daria called me and sent us a big green gift. Love the gift, D. That's a lovely surprise. We should plan another trip someday...
Baby Gap
Big green gift
When we were young
My birth story
Wednesday, 05 July 2006
I felt mild on-and-off contraction in the evening. It got stronger and regular - 4/5 minutes apart at 11 pm after I did lots of walking and 3 times climbing stairs.
Thursday, 06 July 2006
I knew that i had low paintreshold. So I decided to go to hospital at 1 am to get a painkiller. I forgot all comfort tools that we learned in antenatal class. We really hope that I already 1-2 cm dilated. Gleneagles in the chosen hospital. We went straight to labour ward. That's the good thing in Singapore. I heard from a friend of mine who gave birth in Jakarta that she had to stay in sharing room in early labour. Ari companied me all the time. I asked for pethidine and I felt asleep till 7 am when the doc came and checked. I was 1 cm dilated and she broke my waterbag. The effect of pethidine was disappeared. We can only get pethidine twice and if it was given in the late stage of labour, it will impact the baby. So we decided to take Epidural. O well...I can't take the pain..it's more painful and intense than yesterday. Epidural is very common in Singapore, it's a painkiller which was inserted into spinal block. I will feel nothing from waist down but I can still move my leg. I guess all the process took 30 minutes and it was such a bliss..I don't feel the pain..The low side of epidural is a prolonged labour.
Finally I was 9 cm dilated in 8 pm and I had an urge to push. So I asked Ari to distract me. Meanwhile waiting for the doctor, Ari gave me simple quiz..for example, what is the full name of his first nephew? Hm...good distraction!
The nurse came to teach me pushing...It was so damn hard!! Everybody scream at me...to breath and push...Urghh..The doctor came around 8.20pm..I had to push. I cried and almost gave up when the doc said that the baby's head was half way and nothing she can do to help this. She said that the only one who can get the baby out was me...I need to keep pushing. 1 Contractions and 3 good pushing...With lots of effort, It like 2 big poo. One for the head and one for the body.
Amazingly I had a natural delivery for my first baby. Arya is so big, 3.75kg and 53cm long.
Looking back, I don't think I can go through this without Epidural.
9 Amazing Months
Dear Diary,
It took 39 weeks and 4 days to prepare Arya to this world.
Month 1
No one knew at this stage =p
Month 2
We got the good news in Jakarta, 4 days before Idul Fitri celebration. Unfortunately 1 wk after that, I had a high fever. I visited a doctor in Harapan Kita hospital and there's possibility that I had a dengue fever. We flew back to Singapore the next day and went straight to KK hospital. I stayed 2 days in medical leave. The dengue fever was a threat for the mommy not the baby. We went to a gynae in Mount E and had a scan for the first time when I was 5 wk pregnant. We got the possible bad news when there's nothing in my uterus...I need to bed-rest for 5 days. After 5 days resting and praying, we could see the little peanut with heart beat in my tummy. Amazing!!!
Month 3
Morning Sickness!! Everytime I took buses and taxis. At least I never lost my appetite.
Month 4
Finally we can travel again. First 3 months are very fragile for the baby-to-be so it was advisable not to travel during this period. We managed to have 1 week off and went to Yogyakarta and Ambarawa (my hometown). I visited and showed Ari my favourite places when I was senior high in Yogyakarta. We had a small celebration in Ambarawa as I was 4 months pregnant. For Muslim, we believe that God give soul to us in 4 months pregnancy.
Month 5
It's a baby boy...Ari was so happy!! We did a detailed scan, the baby is healthy and quite long/big for his average.
Month 6
Ari had an assignment in Jakarta. My mom came to company me.
Month 7
We had a traditional baby shower in our house in Jakarta. The house was 98% completed. I'll post the pic of our baby shower in separate post. Literally it was a shower not a gift shower...a water shower!!!
Month 8
We signed up for express antenatal class - 3 courses. We had a better idea about the birth plan. Btw, I shut my eyes when the teacher showed us a birth video... Scary Man!!
Month 9
My weight was declined. Not a good sign!! Maybe because of fatigue carrying big belly.
Month 10
My mommy and sis came to help us. Can't wait for the D-day because everybody said that my tummy looked so huge and the baby was bigger than the average.
39 weeks & 4 days
Finally...
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Let me introduce....
Raditya Arya Wijayanto (Arya)
Born in 06 July 2006, 08.50pm at Gleneagles, Singapore...3.745kg, 53cm.
Cutie Pie...His name comes from Javanese word - the tribe of his parents, meaning: The Great Sun!!
Arya also comes from Ari - Lia.
- proud parents -
First Entry
I tried to create a blog..again!! I'm not a creative writer and a consistent blogger. We'll see how many post I will make before I quit (not a good start). This is my second attempt...Started when Kanika came in town and was showing interest with our new life. Instead of sending an email to everybody, I think blog is a good idea..
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